katekat1010

first things first, elizabuffy and lilianvaldemyer (and any other Willow/Tara shippers on my flist) you should go check out this beautiful and heartrending W/T picspam by mouthfullofdust ... it goes through all of their time together through the whole show.

( second, it was my beloved's birthday!!  )

( third, school, oh you (planning, rants, annoyances) )

I went to a mock trial yesterday - it was really fascinating.  And the bonus?  Getting paid for giving my opinion.  My opinion was contrary to the other outspoken people in the room, so it was great fun to be the voice of dissent.  It's crazy how easy people fall into types in my head though - without knowing names or backgrounds or anything that makes people unique there were people I ... recognized.  You know, the lady who's in her 50's and very particular about how things are supposed to be happening, who had some legal experience and so was annoyed that they didn't "instruct" the jury as they ought.  The woman in her mid-40s wearing a long flowered skirt and a sensible top with frizzy hair who saw things in black and white, the younger (maybe 20s) guy who slouched in his chair and was  a total idealist.  The guy whose white shirt didn't totally hide his tattoos in his 30s with sharp eyes and day-old stubble who didn't want to make decisions fast and who tried his damnedest to be fair to both sides. 

Makes me wonder what my type is.  I know I've got one, and I used to be percieved as that girl in my classes - too precocious, doesn't know how to shut up.  But at this point I'm getting too old to be qualified as "girl" anymore.  Still don't keep my mouth shut though, but I don't know if I come off as an idealist or a know it all (probably both, but I'd like to know if it's a 60/40 split or the other way around).  I had trouble staying quiet while other people made their points, I was the one who directed conversation through the first run through and made sure every one in the damn room had the chance to give their opinion at least once, and I spoke up in the first group during the debriefing.  I wonder if, in 20 years or so, I'm going to be the woman who is all uptight about the rules.  Guess I'll have to ask the question again in 20 years or so.

( it is sunday night in kate-land and that means i have a week to recap )

Most of last week was pretty fantastic - the trip to whole foods was entirely worthwhile since we managed to feast like queens off of all the wonderful goodies we bought - imagine meals like stuffed peppers (with wild rice, mushrooms, smoky cheese, walnuts, zuccini and tomato inside), or potato knishs, or feta and spinach stuffed skirt steak, and little platters of cheeses and fresh strawberries and chopped veggies in between.  Dar and I watched all of Firefly, and then jumped right to Serenity in one crazy burst.  I managed to get myself signed up at a temp agency for summer work and then got a job for this last Friday (waking up way earlier than I'm used to).  The job itself was a total snore - not only because I hadn't gotten much sleep on Thursday night worrying about if i was going to wake up on time - but all I had to do was answer phones and read my own book.  I've even got an lj entry (hand written) around here somewhere because writing kept me awake.   Last night was some crazy family stuff that I won't get into, but today is the aftermath where all I want to do is read fic and watch tv.  Neil's home (yay!) beside me on the couch, playing video games while I type this.

Me and Daria and lostgirlslair went to the Zilker Botanical gardens on Thursday too, and I thought I'd share some of the pretty pictures we ended up with!

( so heres a little photo tour of our cute botanical gardens )

it was supposed to be fantastically productive and instead it's been fantastically crappy.

( where i've been from friday-wed )

Speaking of Terry Pratchett, if you haven't heard, he was diagnosed with a rare form of alzheimers, and has donated a million dollars to their research.  And there's a fan movement called Match it for Pratchett that hopes to raise a matching amount as a show of support for the awesome author:

Match It for Pratchett

Then there was yesterday, the "I'm trying to get work done, really" day ( where D & I ran up to campus )

1.  wedding planning is fun.  Well, it's great fun since it's not my wedding and it's not my budget and i get to do the cool things like come up with ideas.  our friend's getting married in march, it's a 30 person deal, and it's going to be superfabulous in the most relaxed and fun ways.  Working a little bit on it yesterday reminded me how much I like event planning - it's all there and it all comes together right in front of you.

2.  ( thursday was the day of fabulous women mentors )

3.  last night was delightful and fantastic - celebrated mrtwstedwhsprs' birthday last night at the only goth club in town.  There was dancing, grinning, much talking, even more smoking, and ... just perfect.

4.  On Ian Condry's Hip-Hop Japan: Rap and the paths of cultural globallization ( is not as thrilling as it ought to be. )

5.  ( the to do list thus far today.... )

Actually, we named her Domino.  And I would like to present, to you, the newest addition to our household:


She's a two-year old Shiba Inu/Heeler mix, adopted from Austin Dog Rescue (they rescue the dogs that are in the pound but aren't found homes).  We met her on Monday night, had the home visit on Wednesday, and she came home with us tonight!  She's settling in, doesn't care one whit about the cat (although he is still trying to figure out what the big fuzzy alien thing is doing in the living room), and is super sweet and a little shy.  We love her to pieces already.  And here are some other images of random adorableness from her first night home.

( i'm going to go stick these into my journal on the right days, but why not gather them here )

Oh dear gods!  That was, without a doubt, a crazy-bouncy-friezied I-drank-all-together-way-too-much-coffee trip!  (And by trip, I mean the lead up to finals and then the finals themselves and then the *actual trip* to Sacramento and then the 12-hour grading day and everything else)

But I'm back!  And now I have a mile long to-do-list of things I'd left undone (because, of course, school takes priority over dirty dishes... and clean laundry, most of the time).  Including buying presents.  Once again it's like 8 days till christmas and I haven't done a single piece of shopping.

There's also an outbreak of headcold in our house, so I'm zycamming my way out of being sick (hopefully) and trying to clean at the same time.  I have such a sexy life.

( how i almost didn't have to take the japanese final )

( why you should never write a paper in sacramento )

( of christmas choirs, family gatherings, and ham )

( the last twelve hour day )

Now, after all that, I'm FREEEEEEE!  I was up until 5 last night, reading, for fun, because I could.  And I woke up at 1 today, refreshed, relieved, and ready to do dishes.  Frightening what rest will do to me.

I'm going to actually try to go to bed here in a minute, because for some reason I woke up this morning thinking it was Tuesday and that my mom was pulling into town the day after tomorrow. Finally, at about 6 pm, everyone realized my insanity and let me know it's Wednesday, and so I'm picking her up at the airport tomorrow. And nothing but the kitchen counters are clean. Thank god she doesn't really mind mess.

Friday was a series of farces and going in and out of the house for various shopping needs.  We did manage to get pumpkins from the HEB.  And Saturday we slept in far too late and then woke, breakfasted, and puttered around.  After that?  Pumpkin Carving!

( Clicky for the cute pumpkin pics! )

I got a call at 10 pm on Sat asking if I was going to the party.  I told the caller no... I was tucked in for the night, and not going to party.  I got a call from another friend at 11, asking the same thing.  I told the caller I was in my jammies and there was absolutely no way I was going to go.

( And then I changed my mind, and went to the party. )

This week has been crazy already, and next week I'm actually teaching classes in my Adaptation class, so I shouldn't be slacking now, but I'm having trouble concentrating because it's time for classic recs at buffyversetop5  and I can't resist trying to rec some non-spuffy things... AH, the decisions!  To read or not to read!

( The menu: )

what's that equal?  foodgasm.

Best food.  Best boy.  Best time.  Best yum.  Happy Annaversary darling!! 13 ytears.  13 years.  Yep.  It's official... I think we actually like eachother.

( freakishly silly picture below cut )

So yesterday I had this crazy plan - I thought Dar and I would nip out to the DMV and do her ID card thing at 8 am in the morning.  At least that part worked.  We were done by 8:30 and on the way home. 

( And that's when it all went pear shaped )

Yesterday was the birthday of the handsomest man I know.  Yep, my boyfriend.  ;)

So to celebrate we went out for pizza to a little place called Frank & Angies (where you can actually get a decent wine with your pizza) and to Tiff's Treats for fresh baked cookies as dessert.  He liked all of his presents (even the one I forgot about becuase I'd bought it at a random time and shoved it in the back of the closet - only remembered it this morning), he had a good time, and there were fresh baked cookies! 

So happy birthday again darling one!  Every day of my life is happier with you in it, and every year is better when I get to spend it with you.

And if you want to see what a man looks like when his cat decides to cuddle with him on his birthday... ( check this picture out )


( and then, there was the first week of school )

Caffiene and cofee buzzed, with fingers hammering over the keys, my hands are scratched by our sneezy kitten and I'm warmer than I should be in the airconditioned house.  Then again, turning the thermostat up to 78 because you're tired of hearing it wheeze makes the air warmer, doesn't it?

Alone in the house again - Neil's gone off for his usual LA whilrwind and I'm left to mind the cat and hold down the fort and possibly get some work done.

But there are three different kinds of work all bundled up into this thing I call life right now.  The house, that takes constant maintaining because I leave a trail of crap despite my best efforts.  A paper here, a book there, the magazine I started in the bathroom and dragged out to the couch to finish.  Shoes seem to multiply in the front hallway faster than the kitten can attack them and beat them back.  Besides, he's sleeping anyway.  He wakes up at 5 or maybe 7 am to bite my hand enough that I have to put him on the ground - and still his back up, our little boxer kitten that never gives up and won't take no for an answer.

Work-work is the other interruption (of a sort) since there are phone calls and emails and I keep telling myself it's completely worth it because, hey, money.  And a healthy sort of money for a job that doesn't have hours or require that I do too much when I'm busy, just occasinally answer some questions and tell people they should download some software and generally that's it.

But it takes time, both of those do.  Besides the care and feeding of Kates, which take up lots of time too.  And then there's the checking of email, the playing with graphics, and although neither of these are a job, they certainly suck attention.  Oh, and I can't forget the phone calling - friends, relatives, countrymen?  Staying in touch takes work, it does, and it's worthwhile because i don't ever want to lose my people.

That being said, the last of the three, the schoolwork?  Never a quiet moment.  Tonight I'm planning to shut it all down - I have the books out right now, spread around me, kanji on the left and stories on the right, and a translated one to take outside on smoke breaks.  Surrounded.  Eventually they're gonna close in and I'll be typing in Japanese here someday, waiting for someone to translate my untranslatable sentences and look up my particles and wonder why I used that kanji. 

and so it goes

at least, today it is.

( lovely things from the weekend )

( so...the saw parts of the see )

( but...there are things to look forward to )

Of course, the other thing I'm looking forward to, with a grin, a giggle, and a set of posts I can't wait to hit send on?  summer_of_giles ... fandomy-goodness at it's best

huh, i think i have far more to be happy about than to worry, and writing it out always makes things feel better.  Thank goodness.

Nothing makes me feel better about adventures than my favorite horoscope writer....

Libras:
"There can be no transformation of darkness into light and of apathy into movement without emotion," wrote psychologist Carl Jung. That should be your motto in the coming week, Libra. Clear thinking and impeccable logic will not be sufficient to guide you to your next great adventure. You need the driving force of succulent emotion rising up in your solar plexus, the lush power of raw sensitivity piercing your heart. Feel as deep as you dare."

I think I can muster some succulent emotion right now!  Especially since this morning my cup floweth over - I got a B in Japanese!!!!!! 

It's definitely the little things that make me happy.  Well, ok, that's rather a big thing.  Especially with the final counting for 17% of the grade - it had me worried.  Worries are now only left for my Mass and Pop Culture class, and really, no matter what I get there I'll deal. 

I haven't done much of anything the last couple of days.  My modus has been to sleep in extravagantly late, goof around for a couple of hours, eat lunch with my boyfriend, goof around in the evening, stay up too late and read bad fic, make graphics for friends and for the_jossverse (I'll post a redux here later today, I think), and think about finishing the writing on my own fic.  Total slacker.  I've gotten in contact with some of the people I'm going to hang out with as I detour to LA (on my way to Japan).  Oh, and chores - can't forget that I've actually done chores!  But not many, and it's mostly been a revolving load of dishes.  Why haven't they made a magical dishwasher yet?  Or one that puts dishes away as soon as they're clean?  I'm waiting for that day.

We had amazing thunderstorms last night at about 4 am - and I was up and awake to see them crashing into the house, dumping rain out of the sky.  Our little outside kitty is a tough trooper and the only difference with him this morning is that he seems cleaner.  Nothing wrong with a spring rain washing everything clean.

This weekend was the fantastic wedding of our friends Michael and Lauren, and ... wow.  Haven't ever done anything quite like it. 

( It was beautiful! )

and thought... I kinda love life.

Which means, I suppose, that I don't often talk about it.  When I'm content I don't really end up ranting - it's hard to find a proper turn of words when I'm feeling lazy and over-full.

Not that I'm not worried with those day to day things that I get lost in... wondering if I'm going to ever be a better writer (my advisor suggests trying to be crisp, and I wonder if I've lost the ability to actually write in crisp vernacular).  Japanese test tomorrow that I'm preparing for - would like to get an A.  Would be happy with a B.  We shall see.

There's the bathroom front - it's been fun repainting, but that was the easiest part.  We're now in new fixtures limbo, finding that the old ones are corroded onto the pipes and that we need more pieces than we originally bought.  Hopefully this weekend we'll be tiling our uneven floor with our lovely new nutty-brown tile, and then the bathroom will really start to take on it's new colors.  Not that it hasn't already... painting always makes a big impact.

Hopefully, if schedules permit and she hasn't crossed me off her list because I'm a huge flake, I'll be meeting emeraldswan on Saturday!  In between tiling, of course!

Spring break is next week, and I'm ready for it, even though I feel like there are a million little things I need to get done during those days.  We're heading out to Arizona to see our friends Michael and Lauren get married too, and that should be wondrous. Bunches of friends, so it's a mini-reunion, and besides, they're so sweet together that I can't wait. Lauren's even letting me be the one who runs around on the wedding day and makes sure everybody gets where they need to go (not quite coordinator, but more than just guest, i suppose) and it's the perfect kind of job for me.  This, however, means that I need to find a pretty dress in three days for an upscale spring wedding, and get my hair done, because it wouldn't exactly do to be running around directing people everywhere with four inch roots.

After that, in April we're going to my Grandfather's 90th birthday in Kansas, and we need to do things like get tickets, make hotel reservations (ok, that's done, but still) and figure out rental car situations... like now. 

In May I'm doing my conference, so that'll be another weekend that probably arrives too soon.

Hopefully at some point, too, I'll know if I'm going to Japan.  I keep meaning to find backup programs in the US in case I don't get in.  That's another on the laundry list of things to do.  Ah, things to do.  :D 

But this morning I snuggled into the pillows of our fluffy bed, wrapped my hand in Neil's, and coasted in that half dream state where I was cuddled and warm and happy, and thought to myself, well, this is all pretty damn good.

Hi guys!  I'm sorry, i've been ... utterly uncommenty, utterly unwriterly, and basically mute for the past couple of days ...

Not for lack of inattention, it's just getting to be that time again.  That time when I have to make school a priority over everything else.  (Gasp! No!) 

This week was pretty frigging fabulous, because I was able to do one other thing - make Neil & Kate time a priority.  We're not big Valetine's Day celebrators, but for some reason this year, we managed to do silly things.  ( cut for those who don't want to hear it )

Other than that, school's been chugging away.  I'm doing applications for Summer in Japan right now, trying to put together my statement of purpose (and lo, it's another one!  And I still don't know what to put in this one, other than FUND ME!).  Yesterday our profs did this great seminar where they talked to us about the three big things we should be concerned with as grad students:  Publishing, Conferences and Funding.  It was grim, but ... I feel better about the whole thing, regardless of how grim it is.  I like to *know* things, ya know?  Even if it's the worst news.  And it's not quite so bad for me.  The upshot of the whole thing really was:  don't be a conference floozy, pick and choose, don't be a publication slut, because it matters where you get published as much as when... but, most master's thesis should be considered as things you can transform into publications.  Oh, and funding... apparently the more you get, the more you'll get.  Just like money everywhere.

Now we're off to look at tiles for the bathroom remodel.  Yep, we're going to tear out our master bathroom and put a new one in.  This is me giving y'all fair warning that although I adore you, it is doubtful I will be a commenter in the next months, because with school + remodel + applications + grad research.... yeah, i don't know how i'm gonna do it either.

feels like it's been ages since I've sat down to my deepest sender screen and written more than a sentence.  Oh, yesterday I started, I really did, but didn't get out more than a few words before something distracted and I was off running after bright and shiny things instead of posting in my journal.  Hey, bright and shiny is good, right?

( so, what's so bright and shiny, huh? )

Now I'm off to return phone calls. Someday, I hear, I've got some graphics to make and post... but we'll see if I make it to those tonight!

I was worried that I'd have to take another English class because my degree audit stated that I did.  BUT, today, after some swift advising from the English dept advisor, I discovered that everything is totally fine. It was just that when I did the class/degree audit I didn't have it run right. They are going to count one of my older UCSC classes, and I really do only need 6 hrs in residence (which I will have satisfied with this summer 60s class). YAY!

The second good thing is that I stopped by the Asian Studies dept, and even though our undergrad advisor wasn't there, the Grad Advisor was and guess what she told me? They're trying to figure out a way for me to get a fellowship for Spring!!!! And if I can get one, she'll also try to figure out a way for me to get out of paying tuition! Isn't that awesome?!

However, the good news has been even handedly doled out amid slightly confusing news:  my Financial aid BILL doesn't reflect the full financial aid package I'm supposedly receiving.  It not even a case of two departments having trouble talking with each other - the info all comes from the same place!  Dammit.  Hopefully I'll have that resolved once I can get on the phone to someone. 

Also, sadly, I thought I might get out of my last course requirement for the Asian Stuides department (it showed up as being completed on that damn degree audit!) but my advisor says no, that the course on the audit isn't supposed to be credited to History.  Which means I still have to take an Asian History class, and sadly, my choices are limited to such exciting titles as History of East Asia Since 1800, Intro to Korea, Intro to China, Intro to Japan, Intro to India, Modern China, Muslim India, Partition of India, State and Society in Confucian China, and the like. NOT sexy courses.

Off to write papers on why the Moody Blues were representative of some kind of 60's ethos! Woot.

Reasonably fabulous Friday - I got sleep last night (well, after writing my the sister of my heart in Australia, who's having her first baby and who I dearly adore and don't keep up with often enough).  I got paid today.  I got to tell off an idiot who wanted to be our vendor, and and I got to be sweet in an attempt to get information from county offices.  I remembered to deposit said paycheck, along with financial aid check.  I came home and tried to repair the couch (it's old and threadbare) and was reminded how frigging cool my sewing machine is.  The financial aid office managed to live up to my expectations and not get back to me, so I look forward to calling them on Monday and ripping them a new one - or at least asking for management and explaining that I've spent the last two weeks emailing and calling to get resolution on my problem.  Yvette and Peter and Christy called to invite us out to dinner, and we actually left the house and got to catch up with all three of them and eat and giggle and hug.  That pretty much made the night as far as I'm concerned.

Next week we'll have visitors!  Deb and Erik are coming from LA for a week!  And I finally start summer school.  It's gonna be absolutely insane and totally marvelous.

And, in case you're actually looking for reading material, this week's posters at summer_of_giles were great and deserve adoration, so ....

( consider adoring them. . . )

And the mommie-story continues!  That's right, there are new posts in my mom's lj, so if you're curious, wander over and read her stories at opages ...

For Miss mishloran and anyone else who's midly curious...

My Statement of Purpose

One of the most interesting ways to understand how cultures interact with each other is to look at the myths they create about themselves.  Modern myths are not being shared over campfires, passed from parents to children, or spread through word of mouth.  Instead these myths are being produced in the texts of popular culture: movies, manga, and science fiction.  Mass production, reproduction, and consumption of these images and ideas occur on a global scale. Most importantly, these myths serve as commentaries – not on what the world should be, but on what it is now.

( and if that interests you... read on )

throughout the day I think of these great entires - meditations on life, the universe, everything.  What do I end up with by the time I sit down at night?  This:

+ I grinned from ear to ear today - and I know why.  I'm happy.  School, home, friends, life, music, love ... everything is just good.  Despite my grousing and grouching, my whining and complaining, the world rocks.

+ Gotta savor this happy time, because soon all of this lovely peaceful fun is going down the drain.  I have 4 tests (in 4 classes) in the same week.  SAME WEEK.  And the Japanese classes actually test us twice:  oral & written exams.  ROCK.  Oh, and the week I'm doing all the tests?  The weekend before is our housewarming party.

+ We're finally having a housewarming party!  Since we've been here for 2 months, I think it's well beyond time.  Mojitos, here we come!  White russians, I will boycott you this time.

+ Neil's parents arrive on Saturday... so I've got to get all my lazy tendencies out now... or all my studying done in advance?  Something like that.  They're staying at our house for the first time EVER in the 11 years we've dated.  This will be an experience... and I know, I sound pessimistic.  I'm starting with a bad attitude so I can be pleasantly surprised when it all goes well.  Yep, that's really it.  It should be interesting since they want to help Neil putter around the house and *do* things here.  Oh, and they're willing to buy us furniture!  That makes them fabulous.

+ My little VD art project (to make wallpapers of my favorite pairings) is cut down to a snail's pace, but I'll be posting 2 Tara backgrounds soon... I don't know if I'll even GET to my favorite characters by VD since I'm going alpha order by actor! 

+ Our house is getting brushed into shape for the parental visit.  I rediscovered how much I hate cleaning the bathtub.  I really hate cleaning two.  But at least it's done now.  And I told Neil that we have to stay out of the bathrooms until his parents arrive so they don't get dirty.

(phrase gakked from mishloran - thank you lady)

+ Read The Ritual Process: Structure and Anti-Structure by Victor Turner.  Create some kind of an oral presentation on said book so I can lead my GRAD class in a three hour discussion.  Yes, I am slightly frightened, since I'm volunteered to be the first student presentation. 
+ Write my Japanese composition - 400 characters on a famous actor.  Yes, I did choose Johnny Depp.  I was hoping I'd be inspired to wax rhapsodic and would have an easy time of it.  Who knows, it could still happen!
+ More Japanese homework (I haven't really looked at it, but I'm sure there's something... oh, and the Quiz on Monday too, which is probably a grammar quiz, knowing my luck).
+ Goverment reading - how sad is it that we're basically using a highschool text book?  I know this class is one 90% of students take their first year, but ... a highschool textbook?  UGH.  The entire thing drives me nuts.  At least next week I'm going to talk to the professor about outside reading, and will probably soon be armed with a copy of the Federalist Papers, to read for the first time, as geeky as that sounds.  Because even though I'm a dilligent little monkey, and I do my reading, the whole party line of "this is the government, it's composed of three branches... " crap that comes from the book is just annoying.

Sadly, I should've started on all of this Friday, so I woudln't be stuck trying to accomplish the entire set of stuff in a day.  But I am a lazy lazy procrastiinator, and it was way more fun to have Yvette & Joel & Peter come over for movies on Friday night (and discover that our DVD player is just a little touchy with blockbuster DVDs - we probably shouldn't have been renting from blockbuster - it may have a few moral quams about supporting them - we finally had to relent and get a VHS tape out to watch.  But it was good to expose more people to Love Is A Gun anyway.)  Saturday day was spent puttering, trying to get the house a little ready for Neil's parents to come next week, and Saturday night Ariel came over with fondue and I inflicted Underworld on her (which was fun, gorey, and fun again - I really do just plain *like* that movie).  So the weekend was great fun, but a total wash on the homework side.

A brief word on Love is a Gun  (and the craptastic reviews it got on IMDB)

( there be spoilers here, but hey, you're probably never going to see this movie, so read anyway )

I learned not to ask at an early age. Not because I’d get hit for asking, not because the world would fall apart, but because it would make my mother sad. As if her heart had been rebroken, cracked open again under my curiosity. I taught myself not to ask, because asking inflicted pain, and I didn’t do that, not to my mommie.

I don’t know if it’s a consequence, but my memories only stretch so far down the path of my childhood. Most come from what I call the post-Sacramento period, when we moved up to Mokelumne Hill just in time for me to take 3rd grade.

Not that I don’t have sparkly seconds of illumination from earlier eras, but there are no complete moments, no long stretches of years, no totally vivid recreateable narratives.

( meet my Uncle David )

It makes me sad and joyous all at once. I know why, now, you see. Why my memories are so sad. And I know more about a man who was a large part of the first few years of my life, one of my only Page-sided relatives to be close to normal (as far as I’m concerned), who got out of Kansas, who tried to live his life. But I’m sad that it’s taken me this many years to ask the question, and sadder still that I have to wonder if Mom feels like she’s reopened a wound that never really closed to talk about him. Because she holds things that close, and that raw, and that new. And sometimes it seems like when I ask, I’m making her relive everything all over again.

And perhaps the talking will actually help her to let go the pain and remember the good mixed into the bad memories. As for me, I know whose feeling it was now, mixed in with my own memories. And even though I know, won’t forget any of it.

The good:  She has such cute hair!  She cut it short and it's frigging adorable as it curls around the back of her neck.  And bright scarlet.  Pretty mommies are good. 

I took my mom to class!  I know, in this day and age, everyone's kind of over bringing their parents to school.  But I happen to have been birthed and raised by a woman with a literature degree.  Means that she can get everything I'm doing right now (except for the Japanese).  So we woke up bright and early, broke our fast and popped up to campus.  She got to experience my silly-long walk to my first class, meet the friends.  And she was such a good sport and even did her homework (which included reading a couple of short stories and an essay about a film... and no, I didn't make her do my homework, just wanted her to be able to connect with what was going on in class).  My professors were all sweet and didn't have a problem with it, my friends were all great sports and lunched with us, and Mom had stuff to add to the discussion that she whispered in my ear (because she didn't want to intrude by taking up everyone else's class time with her opinions).  Total success!

The mediocre: 2 bedrooms does not a palace make.  Nor a comphy space for guests, especially when one of those bedrooms is really the base of operations for the TBG Austin branch.  We're all in eachother's back pockets.  There's more stuff. 

The beginnings of the maddness:  I was told last night that I could get better grades in Japanese if I spent more time studying.  By my mom.  My retort?  *dripping with sarcasm* "Gee, you think?  I didn't realize that.  After 30 years I never realized that if I just studied more I'd do better!  Thanks mom, I'll remember that."  I DO NOT need another person to tell me to study more.  Neil does a great job of handling that all on his own.  And I KNOW that, but I also know the limits of my own endurance, and if I'm satisfied with a C on the test (which will equate out to a B in the class) she can damn well be satisfied with it too.

I completely flew off the handle today at some passibly innappropriate comment that was relayed second hand to me.  Yes, it is the stress.  Ordinarily I'd be slightly more rational.  Then I bitched out my group.  They probably think I am the bitch from hell at the moment, and I may actually be turning into one.

But, on the bright side, since I get alone time when I say I have to study, I'm actually studying!

And have I done the dishes?  I think not.

Nope.  I have homework.  A pox on homework.  And on transitive & intransitive verbs.  And skit presentations.  And nerves.  And history classes.

Glad the woman who raised me isn't a clean freak.  Afraid she's become more of one now that she lives at home -- which will mean she'll want to try to clean when she gets here.  *mental shudder*  No, I don't want my mom cleaning my stuff anymore.  It's my stuff, and I'll leave it dirty if I want to.  If she wants to invite herself for 15 days, she's going to have to live with the squalor (live in the squalor?  whatever)

Glad the woman who raised me isn't too picky.  Terrified, however, that we don't have any food in the house she'll deem acceptable, except for a couple of old carrots and some broccoli heads.  She seems to have forgotten that I eat differently than I used to.  Sigh.  A trip to the store is in order, but I think I'll leave that for after her arrival - because dammit, there's just not enough time between now and then. 

Glad the woman who raised me is someone I can comforably leave to do homework.  Freaked that she'll still try and talk to me when I'm trying to get work done.  I used to just read fantasy books.  She had no problems interrupting those.  Me and lit theory though?  I NEED to concentrate on it.

Glad the woman who raised me is self sufficient.  Worried that she won't really be, not after she gets here.  I can't take care of her.  Wish that I could, but I'm not ready for that responsibility at the moment.

Glad the woman who raised me is coming to visit.  Scared the woman who raised me is coming to visit and I'm going to go batshit crazy after a day. 

Wait.  I found the silver lining.  I'm already batshit crazy.

Phew.  Glad I solved that one

I tend to forget that, if you want to feel like you actually had a true *weekend* you need to actually DO things with your weekend.  Then it actually feels like you had time off.

And what, might you ask, did I get to do this weekend?  Hang out with psychoadept  and tx_cronopio of course! 

They were sweet and made sure I had time to do my homework, and then they came by and met my boy and my kitty, saw my new house (and Pat was AWESOME and actually introduced me to the neighbors who speak spanish -- i do not, and was super happy to have my very own translator!). 

We went to the most adorable bookstore.  It's called Book Women, and is wonderfully feminist and totally cool, and I found a new Dodie Bellamy book.  For all of the po-mo people on my flist, if you haven't read anything of hers, go forth, and find her!  She's this brilliant woman, part of the San Francisco po-mo wave of writers, totally passionate and kinky, lyrical and theoretical at the same time.  The book's called Pink Steam, and seems to be a kind of autiobiographical investigation, but of course, it's more than that. 

Then we drove around Austin a bit, oggled the capital and drove up to Zilker park (and then realized it's awfully hard to see a park at night).  We went to Serenity (because, of course, we'd have to do something Joss related, woudln't we?).  Then hung out for some drinks at a lovely little bar at the Driscol, and promised to meet for breakfast the next morning.

The best  parts were actually getting to sit down with Pat and Campbell and talk a little, at the Driscol and at breakfast the next day.  It wasn't quite long enough, but if I'd've stayed longer I wouldn't have actually finished all the homework.  But there was much hugging (trade secret: Campbell is a brilliant hugger), and smiles.

1.  Did well on 2/3 parts of the Japanese oral exam today.  Sadly, bombed the third part.  Heavily.  Hopefully the other two parts will counter act the utter failure on the last.  Apparantly 8 hours of studying is not quite enough.

2.  Watched Au Revoir Les Enfants today.  That was ... welll, not quite lovely, because it's a story about WWII, but kind of cool on the whole.  Sadly, the paper topics are not lovely at all.  Why do we get all of the horrible paper promts?

3.  Our house passed inspection with about $1,500 of non-critical repairs ... thank god it passed.  Sadly, we don't really have an extra $1,500 lying about, so I'm hoping our realestate agent can actually get us the  repair budget he suggested.  But no other news is good news, as far as the loan and the FHA inspection and all of that other stuff.  We're aiming for Nov 30th as a closing date.  That's going to come up FAST.  Luckily I've actually got a couple of true friends who are willing to help us move, so that rocks, whenever it happens.

4.  I've been the queen of procrastination this last week, even though I got everything done.  But 4 am is not a good time to start writing a sakubun (my japanese composition), and I recognize this.  Next week will be all about me getting homework OUT OF THE WAY FIRST, before I play with graphics.  Really.  It will.

5.  It turns out that my beloved mommie is coming for Thanksgiving for ... 15 DAYS!  This is both good and bad - slightly traumatic and partially wonderful.  It'll be good to see her, and have time to reconnect.  It's a little daunting because, although I love her and she loves me, we're both set in our ways now, and after 10 years of living apart, those ways are not always the same ways.  Sigh.

Or, rather, we made an offer.  And they made a counter offer.  And we accepted their counter offer.  And now we're getting inspections and Neil's measuring the rooms and they changed the MLS listing to "pending" and everything is coming along so fast it's making my head spin.  It doesn't feel quite real.  Yet nothing could be more real.

We keep asking ourselves, when did we turn into adults?

So, you wanna see it?  There are some fabulous pictures from Neil's cell phone here.

1.  My professor in my Subaltern Studies (that's the lit. theory class) wrote these exact words on my first paper for the class:  "I like the way you are both precise about understanding an argument and imaginative about reinterpreting it - a simultaneous identification and departure.  Also, your ability to begin a tracing of a difference in Chatterjee away from Gramsci is potentially brilliant."

Yes, my argument was called potentially brilliant.  On a 6 page paper.  That was supposed to be 8.  Maybe I can do this after all.

2.  Its Friday night and I haven't started my homework for next week.  That may sound silly, but I have to have Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday's homework done before the week starts in order to keep up with Tuesdays.  I have procrastinated.  I am a bad girl.  I might need to be spanked.

3.  I have no right to complain, because there are a ton of people who are having far worse weeks/months than I.  And I love you all and know you're going to make it through these things, truly.  I just wish I had more time, and could be a little more comforting than comments on lj's with hugs, or phone conversations where I talk about everything and nothing, and am a sympathetic ear whose only advice is that everybody needs time.  I will do better next week.

4. Tomorrow afternoon we go house hunting!  Finally!  We were supposed to go Wednesday, but it was called on account of our realtor's broken key/lock box.  But we're going to whirlwind through 7? 8? 10? houses.  Luckily we'll have them on video so we won't get too confused.  And sadly, it's a bigger priority than we thought, because our current lease expires in December (we knew that), and in order to switch to month-to-month we'll have to pay $100 a month in rent!  Bastards.

5.  Tomorrow night I'm dressing up (either Ren-Faire girl or Femme Fatal -- I just don't know if i have the clothes to support the last, but I will try), carving pumpkins, watching horror movies, eating popcorn, and goofing around with friends.  Cannot wait.  There will probably be pictures.  Of EVIL and SCARY pumpkins.

6.  Next week is a week full of tests.  Either getting results of them, or taking Japanese oral and written exams.  God I hate Japanese exams.  But I think I'm actually getting better at the orals.  And doesn't that just sound kinky?

7.  I think I may have broken my iconing gene.  I'm now totally drawn to backgrounds, manips, and banners.  Is it possible to break yourself of one crack-like art habit only to pick up another?  And did i just ask a totally rhetorical question?  Probably, yes, to both.

8.  The kitten, our beloved Felix, might be gaining a little weight back.  We did like Hawk suggested and put her on geriatric food, and it seems to me that she's got a little bit more heft and weft when I pick her up.  Keep your fingers crossed.  And yes, we've hidden the remote so she can't watch America's Top Model anymore and try and emulate what she sees on TV.  But she's a smart cat, so lord knows if she's got a secret stash of teen-magazines or something around telling her that she's got to be skinny.

9.  I want to start reading my birthday book on Buffy and Philosophy.  Instead I'm using my birthday Japanese-English dictionary.  Neil really did cover the bases on that set of gifts.

10.  I'm not quite sure if I can multitask anymore.  I think I used to be able to handle at least 3 IM conversations while doing work, but now I'm down to two.  See kids, this is what happens when you do too many drugs at a young age.  You stop being able to multi task.  It's BAAAAD.  But the drugs were fun. ;)

11. (because I'm contrary)  I saw the swans again on Lake Austin this week.  In the morning, when I cross over the bridge on my way to school, there is a family of swans.  The cygnets are almost all grown up now, and I'm sure they'll be heading out any day to fly to warmer climes, but I love seeing their white profiles against the blue of the river/lake when I pass.  There's something so beautiful about them it makes my day.

thursday's child cried...
Because the computer company returned my lovely pc RE-FUCKING-FORMATTED.  I still don't have everything back the way it's supposed to be, but it's beginning to feel a little like my computer again.  I felt helpless and useless and confused at why they did such a thing to me, even though I know that some tech was just following his list of standard operating procedures, and wasn't some evil grinning tech trying to get me back for having pirated software.  It's just that they do turn into mental apartments, with comphy furniture, and when it gets moved around (or worse, tossed out!) it makes you want to scream.

friday's child grinned,
Because we took Yvette out for her birthday and ended up at a bar talking lots and lots of sex and goofy stories and trying to find the perfect margarita.  I wonder if I'm going to turn out like Tom Robbins ... with my own personal search for the perfect margarita (unlike his for the perfect taco)?  God it's fun to actually goof around outside again - meet new people, get to know the ones I know a little bit better, grin and smile and all of that silly beloved stuff.

saturday's child grew up. 
At least that's what it felt like, because we had a date with a real estate agent.  A date that lasted 5 or 6 hours!  We saw houses -- one scary, one so-so, one that was adorable (but not *quite* perfect), and one that was interesting, but maybe not ideal.  Of course, I expected our realitor to wine and dine us (not actually, just emotionally) and she did no such thing, so I'm willing to be courted by others.  But we're really doing it.  Really.  Buying a house.  Before the end of the year if we can.  God that's weird.

sunday's child didn't want to get out of bed. 
Not for any good reason, just because I didn't have to get up.  We went and scouted territory... at least that's what it felt like... looking for more houses to buy in the south part of the city.  We fell in love with a place that we didnt' even go into, that we know is completely wrong for us, because it doesn't even have a garage and it's $10,000 over our limit, but so, so, so cute!  We bickered a bit, out of nervousness I think, because we've never really quite undertaken anything like this.  But it all got better after lunch.  After the excursion I managed to do a little homework, make a few graphics, watch a little Buffy (and sing, which is probably why neil turned up the TV in the other room... but it's my birthday present and the Buffy musical and i'm entitled), avoid some of the other chores I keep needing to do, but hey, it's the weekend.  The weekend is for goofing.

oh, and if anyone hasn't seen the notice, go vote for your favorite  icons over at beegee_icontest!  And dammit, have yourselves a happy Monday!

I wasn’t planning on it, and then it happened. Friday, the day I thought would be another from hell, turned golden and shiny and brilliant. Why? Because three beloved rascals conspired in Austin. Hawk and Miranda showed up in our guest bedroom. And I jumped and squealed and made happy happy happy joy sounds over and over again. It was the BEST surprise. The best present. The most happiest moment. It made turning 30 somehow totally ok.

And then there was the party! It made me look forward to it in a way that I just hadn’t before. There’s something special about having your true, beloved, treasured friends around when you party with your new ones – it’s like there’s a whole new meaning to having people in your corner. Or at least, that’s how it felt to me.

So Friday night we tried to show Hawk & Miranda a little bit of the town, which basically consisted of margaritas at Matt’s (and some serious queso consumption). And went back home to enjoy our company, without all those nasty distractions. Saturday we got ready for the party (with breakfast included beforehand, of course), visited Whole Foods (yes, sadly, it’s a tourist destination – but they have yummy cheese!), and puttered around the house.

The party? The party itself was goofy and silly and adorable and everything I could’ve asked for. Ok, maybe there was a little bit more . . . um . . . vomit . . . that I really would’ve asked for, but that’s my fault, since I mixed Mojitos and White Russians for people. Let me tell you, so *not* a good idea.

But it didn’t really matter – it was awesome regardless – besides, it gave Hawk something to tease Yvette about in the morning, and everyone something to grin at me about, and, well, it’s three days later and I’m still smiling.

Sunday, we were lazy and lovely and just goofed and lounged and watched Invader Zim until it was almost time for the Bat-Boat. And then, the unthinkable happened. Miranda bought me a cowboy hat. Yep, a Cowboy hat. I am official Texan. Oh, and Neil had gotten one on Saturday. We’re quite the pair now. Maybe we’ll only wear them for company? *Grin* I never thought I’d get quite that Texan, but the hats are kind of fun, and now Miranda has one too. I think of ‘em both when I look at it.

Actually, I think of ‘em both because they came and, along with my most beloved trouble maker (that’s you Neil), made the weekend bright and wonderful and just unfucking believably amazing. New friends, old friends, goofy neighbors, silly kittens, texas hats and all.

not that i really have anything to complain about. Brain-gruelling Japanese test. But I studied. So I think I've got an even chance of getting a C. And just glad it's over.

Hung out with friends. Watched the Suicide Movie (Seppuku if anyone's interested). Bit bizzare. And I was all set to watch the parts of Lola Montes that I'd missed on Tuesday, after Seppuku.

I should've known things were taking a turn for the worst right then. But do I heed the warnings? No.

The DVD that I can check out from the library is, of course, in French. But they don't automatically give out remotes, so I have to walk back to the counter for one. Then back to the room. Then back to the counter because the remote won't work. Then back to the room to grab my bag, because that's the only remote they've got, and if it doesn't work nothing will. No sassy french movie for me. That I have to write a paper on Tuesday.

Get to the car, that smells a bit like yogurt because I had to eat my breakfast in the car this morning (and old yogurt is not appetising). Turn on my computer and get ... nothing. A flash of something, then nothing.

Guess what? My computer screen's down. I have no idea how. It's compltely black, except for the couple of seconds when it logs into windows, when I can see my background, before it goes black again. Customer service (that I've spent the last hour and a half with) has no idea either. God they're useless. I mean, completely useless. Frankly, I have a feeling it's some kind of screen black out button that me and/or the cat pressed, but all they can do is tell me to try "function+F8, and for some reason they don't know that that's just the fucking brightness control. It doesn't do any other damn thing. But they don't have enough knowledge about my actual model to know that. They wanted me to pop the ram back out and in because they can't think of anything else. Hell no. I am not about to go 'popping' the ram out of my compouter and accidentally breaking it in half. Because that would be my luck.

So I get to send it into the service center. In California. And wait, to get it back. I HATE this kind of stuff. Truly truly truly HATE it.

So I'm braindead, without computer, which means I feel cut off at the knees, and homework less, because I couldn't do it (and trust me, the local Blockbuster does not carry Lola Montes), and just stuck and frustrated and half feeling like I want to cry.

The only good part? I pick Neil up at 10 tonight. My boy is coming home.

The good: I didn't nail my Spivak presentation, I didn't bomb it either.  Something about actually presenting complex theory makes me talk too fast.  And gods, the woman references deconstruction, semiotics, Lacanian self & other, and half a dozen other things all in a sentence.  There's NO easy way to talk about it, except in the way she did (which wasn't easy, but was at least precise).  And I know I had the professor frowning at certian points.  But I loved the article, regardless.  Even if I'd never encountered subaltern studies before, I feel like I should've read Spivak anyway.

The hilarious thing is the way the Prof talks about her.  His description:  She's a rather imposing woman at over 6 feet, who wears elegant and quite expensive saris, and is quite striking.  She's hugely invested in the community and goes back to India and Bangladesh at least once a year to teach people reading -- so it's not like she's an ivory tower intellectual who has no connection to the people she talks about.  However, she's also very much interesting in weightlifting, and she's brillant, so she makes a rather imposing figure.  And she's quick.  But she's very gentle and very passionate.

How's that for an introduction?  I mean, she's no Foucault who used to come to class in bondage, but hey, we can't all be crazy French philosophers.

Other stuff?  I got new shoes today.  I finally bought a lock for my locker, so I don't have to drag my swim stuff with me every single day.  Rock. I joined facebook and have 2 friends (yes, count them, 2) so if anyone else is on there come over and friend me... so i don't look totally pathetic.

( the bad and the whiny )

friday:  Got as much homework as possible done, because there wasn't time to do it Saturday or Sunday or Monday.  You see, the boyfriend's parents were in town, so we were in for a three day extravaganza of food, and bats, and wine.  It's really not that rough, but it's not necessarily relaxing either.  Oh, and don't forget we frantically cleaned the house so it's bright and shiny and seems like we don't live in sloth all the time.  Besides, it's nice to have clean floors.

( the rest of the fantabulous weekend... )

First things first, the weekend.  The weekend was a real-life honest to goodness WEEKEND!  With going out, and visiting friends, and a BBQ, and everything.  Not only once, but twice.  Ok, it did also involve a football game, which is not my favorite past time, but hey, I can put up with some athletics in exchange for some good company.

It just felt good to be out again.  And to talk to people in person who were interesting, and goofy. 

We actually tried someting new too.  Something frightening, scary, and frankly, bizzare.  A freakish phenomenon that I thought I'd never ever attempt.  No, not drugs.  That would've been normal, compared to this.  Oh no.  It was the truly insane video game called Dance Dance Revolution.  And it was, after a couple of ciders, surprisingly fun.  Yes, I'm going to hell.  Not because I'm living in sin, or because I'm evil, but because I've played DDR and liked it.

Of course, it rained today, so it seemed like the world was suggesting we just stay in and stay bundled under the covers.  The funniest thing about that feeling is that it's actually warm outside.  It's only because the air conditioner's going that it feels even slightly wintry.  It gave us the mental excuse for hot chocolate this morning for breakfast though, which was fun.  I managed to crawl my way out of the house for the lure of a movie and kittens on my lap at some friend's house though.   There's nothing wrong with a bad movie and good company.

Now, with the pimpage:
I'm interim-modding at beegee_icontest, and voting's open for Contest 18. We need more people to run over and vote so that the icon makers feel encouraged. The winner gets a pretty banner too. And hey, if you feel like you want to test your metal, you should think about entering the next contest, Contest 19.

Well, since my beloved Neil didn't post about it on his lj, I can talk about him on mine.

We tried to go horse riding, but the rain kind of cancelled that for us.  Of course, we were half way through the hour and a half drive to get there, but the cool part was the lovely drive back.  We got lost, but it didn't matter because we knew enough to actually figure out where we needed to go, and I got to reward Neil for his knowledge of Texas highways with breakfast.  Because every thing is rosier after migas.  And he let me taste his french toast and find out how scrumptous it is.  Now there's another thing I'll want to get for breakfast.  Oh, and the horsey people told us we can rescedule for next weekend.  We'll see.

I thought it was a lovely birthday, even if I did let him beat me at mini-golf. <small>(Well, actually, he kind of kicked my ass, but I keep pretending I'm a contender)</small>   Funny how not crowded the mini golf place was - but then we got to remind ourselves that it was Tuesday and every one else was at WORK.  Heee.

Dinner at Ranch 616 was gi-normous, delicious, and totally astisfying.  Because damn they have lovely food.  And it's just the kind of place you want to love - funky cool kid vibe, with a band playing Johnny cash (and doing well I might add), sweet wait staff, and the luxury of reservations that let us pop in front of all the kids waiting outside.  Sometimes it's good to think ahead.

And all I've got to say is that I love him.  If I could, I'd fly us to Nice to celebrate his birthday every year.  But the cool part about being in love with Neil, I know he likes a game of mini-golf, a fabulous dinner, and a walk hand in hand around the neighborhood too.

So, there were 5 days in all.  And I felt the need to record them.  I think I’m doing this, this totally verbose little narrative that catalogues every couple of seconds and every impression that occurs, because I didn’t take pictures. I wasn’t in the picture taking mood. I didn’t want to spend my time behind the camera. But memory is flexible (if not downright leaky) and if I don’t capture it somehow I won’t remember it the way it was. So instead of misty-water color memories, hopefully these will stay sparkling a couple of years down the road. At least, that’s my excuse. It might just be because I’m a wordy mother fucker who doesn’t want to write her fic.

( read on at your peril... yes, boredom awaits )

I didn't realize that time moves double speed when you're not doing anything but goofing around.  Or I'd forgotten.  And yet, here it is, Thursday, and we're winging our way to the coast tomorrow.  August seemed so far away just a couple of minutes ago, and now I'm worried about packing and hair color and what I'm going to do on the plane.  We're going to the reception of the century though - well, in the sense that a whole lot of people who I dearly love are all going to be gathered there.  I can't wait. 

And at the same time, part of me's lazily not wanting to prepare, not wanting to hassle, not wanting do deal with the process of getting *there*.

We're gonna be away from the internet too, unless I take my computer.  *Shudder*  *cling* I can't loose my internet.  God, I'm going to haul my computer to California.  I just realized that.  Oh well, at least I got the spanky reinforced backpack so I can do it properly.  Thank the gods for that.

The worst part is we're leaving the baby alone in the house unattended again.  (baby = felix the cat, btw)  She'll do fine, I'm sure, and it'll be better than any kennel because they only lock her in a 4 x 4 cage and she spits at them every time they walk by.  Yes, not a pleased cat.  But leaving her alone isn't really the preferable option.  Sadly, we just haven't met anyone who we trust to take care of our baby.  Not yet.  Still, I worry.  But she's better off here, in a 2 room apartment with all of her things, than she is if she was stuck in that cage. 

I'm rationalizing, aren't I?  We've made the decision.  She did fine last time we were out of town.  She'll be fine again.

So, with a bag full of computer parts and a book to finish, a kitten at home that we'll worry about off an on, and a full day tomorrow that should be full of preparation and will probably be full of procrastination, we get ready to travel.  Finally on the road!  *grin*

A weekend top-filled with love.

The kind of love you feel when it's your first night back in your old town, and your best girl comes to pick you up at the airport -- even though it's miles away and a bitch to get there and silly to triangulate with cell phones. The kind of love that means you get to call your friends TURD and mean it, but never mean it at all (because, turd, in my world, becomes a synonym for love, too). It was the kind of time where a couple of cosmos and the rat-hole of a bar we still show up and at hugs around the table and friends you didn't even know were going to come out - bright and brilliant friends, the ones you missed before you left town even, that kind of time when it all comes together and spawns laughter and more hugs and a post-bar run to McDonald's to get the grease-coating your hangover needs to be nonexistant.

And, even though we woke up and didn't know where we were going the next day, we still found the wedding. We got beautiful and arrived on time and everything. We oggled the groomsmen, because that's what you do (besides, they were hot). I had warm fuzzies because the most handsome one was the one I got to go home with at the end of the night - the one that held me through the slow songs and got sweaty during the fast. Mine. I got misty-eyed at the toasts, because those were the words that were all about the love the two people getting married shared. Actually, they were all about love on all sides. A celebration of love - that's why women always cry and girls always turn to their men and ask "when will we?" because the two people who are doing it -- if it's a good wedding -- look so radiant with love that it's irresistable. And these two were. Radiant and irresistable, I mean.

After that was a night filled with maniac dancing and giggling and hugging and so much fun no one really wanted it to end, even when it was obvious we were all dragging on our last legs and not even Doritos and another drink would perk us back up. But there was love in the morning too, in the shape of a bottomless breakfast buffet with lots of bacon and make your own waffles and fairly crappy coffee but the faces of everyone you had a great time with the night before, near and dear, hugging and smiling through the headaches and the slightly twisted ankles.

It didn't end though, this stream of good will and happy faces. Not then. Instead we got to make sure the place my bestest girl is living in is approved by the family, along with the boy she's with. He did get the stamp of approval, although it's always conditional because no one is ever quite good enough, not for family. But enough that he can stay.

Besides, we gave him the trial run at the best BBQ in town, where I got to hug EVERYONE, because I loved them so much and missed them terribly and was so happy to see them that I probably squeeled, and that's hard for anyone to mesh with if they're coming from the outside. Probably not many places outside of California where the hosts know to put on a grill for vegans and a grill for the flesh eaters, and still have tasty side dishes that both consume in equal measure (and mean margaritas too). I know for sure there's no place that's more filled with people I was so happy to see - just getting to stand and link arms with them and see their grinning faces and know they're well and lovely and still as beautiful as I remembered, inside and out. And I got to finally meet the beloved of one of my best boys, too - kindred woman whose face I'd recognize in marble statues of goddesses and in the happy glow in his eyes. Unbelievably good to meet her in the flesh and see that she is as radiant in heart and soul as he, and that they make everything burn brighter together.

To end that night with hugs and fond farewells and not in sadness, but in renewed love for all these wonderful people I'm so blessed to have known and to know, to have gotten to see my family of my own making again, that's love.

I haven't been granted much in the way of greater joy than these things. At least not all rolled into one weekend. It made the going home, going to sleep, waking up and flying home all worth it. It made fireworks anticlimactic.

See? Love.

Well, after a bundle of money, a stay in two different Animal Emergency Hospitals, an X-Ray and a saline drip, Felix is doing much better. ( the rest, plus a picture )

Our baby is having some trouble with her hind legs - she jumped off the window sil last night and flopped all over the place - we took her into the vet, and there's something wrong with her, but we don't know what. She's at the vet's right now, on saline drip for the day. We hear back in a couple of hours about her x-rays. The problem is that they have no idea what it could be, and it could be a whole host of things that might not show up on an x-ray. We hear back about those in a couple of hours. It may be a permanent condition, it may go away in a couple of weeks, it ... we just don't know.

I'm sorry if I haven't commented back to anyone - won't until we have her back home safe.

( Well, the good parts: )

( The ... iffy parts ... )

Mainichi gozen shichi-ji han ni okimasu. Asagohan o tabemasu. Nihongo o benkyoo shimasu. Gozen ju-ji ni Nihongo o kurasu. Nihongo o benkyoo shimasu. With Neil Sabrina wa terebi o mimasu. Nihongo o benkyoo shimasu. Gogo ku-ji goro bangohan o tabemasu. Nihongo o benkyoo shimasu. LJ o yomimasu. Nihongo o benkyoshimasu. Gogo ju-ni-ji ne nemasu.

Yoko Nihongo o benkyoo shimasu.

Translation:

Subject: Good afternoon!

Everyday I get up at 7:30 am. I eat breakfast. I study Japanese. At 10 am I go to my Japanese class. I study Japanese. I watch Sabrina on the television with Neil. I study Japanese. At about 9 pm I eat dinner. I study Japanese. At midnight I go to bed.

I study Japanese all the time.

HELP! I really wanted to learn this, but I don't think I quite realized what I was in for. I do now. Every day packs 3 days into one. There are words and words and more words. I did the above just to test and see if I could (we learned schedules today). I did! But eeep. All will be quiet from my corner of the world until I get a handle on this. Or, until I crack and need some space to vent.

Neil's pappa and friend are visiting this weekend, so last night I did the "must clean house so they don't think we're total wastes of skin" cleaning of the house. Neil, unfortunately, wasn't much help. He was determined to do as little as possible, and even though I cajoled more out of him than he was prepared for, he still won't hang the pictures in his office. We've lived here six months and apparantly he doesn't think it's worth it to look at things he likes. Yes, I know I'm being bitchy. White walls bug the shit out of me, and I'm edgy from not speaking in my own language and having a parental visit pending. EEEP.

Going now. It's really not as desperate as it sounds. Especially now that the house is clean. Yes, I am a type-A personality.

Last night I went up to 6th Street (the main bar-type drag here... think a mini-bourbon street with less awful smell, fewer people, and no flashing) to meet a friend of Lauren's and her girlfriends for a night of moving and shaking... or imbibing and grooving... something to do with alcohol and music, truly.

I used to be a whisky girl, once upon a time. It was a challenge to see exactly why my friends drank it straight. It was an effort to reach that golden moment of inebriation without the uncomfortable side effects of too much sugar or melted ice. I liked it, for a while.

But a boy who drank his chilled vodka like it was water lured me to his camp. It really does taste better that way - goes down easier if you buy yourself a semi-decent bottle, chill it to frosted temperatures, and sip it like wine, drawing air through your teeth as you go. I loved my frozen-raspberry vodka.

Now we're in Texas, I seem to be segueing into Tequila. I've had good tequila on occasion, and truly, the only way to drink it is straight. Don't muddy with triple sec or strawberries or other fripperies. Of course, in this town, I've asked for shots and found they sting my eyes and make me grind my teeth and suck the lime all the harder after. But, last night, tequila was my friend. Badly mixed margaritas were not, but they kept the tide going.

From 11 - 2 we wandered from bar to dance club to tattoo parlor (all conveniently located within a few blocks of each other). I didn't find the perfect bar. I didn't fall in love with the perfect tattoo artist (although the piercer certainly made a good argument for a nape piercing... but ... ). The real attraction was outside: the largest motorcycle rally in Texas occurred at the same time as Gay Pride weekend in Austin. And everybody seemed to come together in the blocked-off streets. Imagine you're immersed in the sound of belligerently loud engines and more leather than should be permitted on a balmy Saturday night. Throw in pairs of girls walking by hand in hand every so often, mixed liberally with women who've seen more road and trail dirt and still have their fuzzy hair and fuzzy boots to match, and you'll have a reasonable mental picture.

Finally, top the night off with my two saviors: Neil and Tyler. Neil, who gallantly hopped in the car at 2:30 to come pick me up, because everyone else on the streets had hailed the cabs I'd called before I could get to them, and Tyler who stayed on the phone with me and let me ramble on about people smell and goofy theories until Neil's little black car arrived on the scene.

Menu:
+ Brie & bread, with fresh cherries and strawberries

+ Cedar-plank salmon BBQ'd with fresh oregano, basil and rosemary
+ Sauteed asparagus
+ BBQ'd white corn
+ Fresh mixed green salad w/tomato, mushroom & carrot shavings

+ Fried chocolate, banana, peach and strawberry pie

Company:
Two enchanting new friends, along with my beloved, who plied us with tequila and conversation till the wee hours of the morning. There were hugs hello and goodbye and interesting thoughts in between.

What we did:
We realized when we finished shopping that we're still Californians: there wasn't a rib or a steak or a bottle of bbq sauce in sight. Instead, we played in the yard and tested out the new tiki torches. We smoked and talked and giggled and pet the kitty. We lit the fire on the bbq, and finally got to use our kitchen to make dessert and still have a conversation with the non-cooks that didn't involve a lot of leaning around the doorjamb of the room (an open kitchen plan is the ONLY way to go). We tracked dirt back and forth into the house; we made good use of the chairs and table (thanks Maija & Ryan, for encouraging us to buy 'em); we made plans for future baseball games and talked about going to New Orleans.

Yep, there's hope for us after all.

It's been a lovely summer vacation so far, filled with way too much free time for frolicking and goofing and silliness. We went bowling on Thursday night, and I managed to have the lowest score ever (I think in one game I actually didn't break 50).

Last night was Minor League baseball - yes, we saw the Round Rock Express (and yes, that is a baseball team). It was actually fun. We sat 11 rows away from home plate (for $10) and if we'd felt like it our "hey batter, batter, batter, SWING!" would've actually reached the ears of the batters, and could've quite possible bugged the crap out of 'em. But we're mostly polite fans and we try not to do that kind of thing. At least, we tried this time. Who knows what will happen later in the season?

The seats were close enough that we could actually see the veins on the Iowa Cub's Manager's neck when he decided to pick a fight with the umpires and get thrown out of the game. He was going to pop a gasket. He used swear words. Know how I know? I could read his lips. Yep, that close. He used lots of swear words. Cursing is alive and well in Minor League baseball (actually, probably alive and well in many other places too). We cheerfully booed him out of the stadium.

We'll go back though - night games in Texas are beautiful. The sun sets behind fluffy clouds, the air is lovely and soft and warm. And hopefully next time the baseball players do a little better playing baseball. There's still hope. We're still rooting for the home team.

Tomorrow (well, today, just later) we will be BBQing. It's a BBQ extravaganza. More on that later.

The open windows of the house were our enemies when we moved in. No screens meant every flying or skating or zipping thing could find its way through our windows and into our place. We shuddered in primal (or effeminate?) dread at the thought of the creepie crawlies and kept the windows closed. Besides, our gallant protector and chosen companion, the kitten Felix, might've seen the open window for the invitation to terrorize the other cats in the neighborhood. She wanted to attack them through closed windows - that open hole meant a certain mauling for some tom or curious kitten that decided to look in on us. But keeping the windows closed all the time made the place a kind of stagnant box. No circulation, no wind, no breath of the outside.

Two trips to Home Depot later, with scarred hands and little metal screen shards on the porch, we managed to make screens for our windows. Does that mean we're now be-screened? Or just screening?

Regardless, we now have a way to admit the air without the creepie crawlies. We now have a way to keep the cat in and hopefully circulate some of the air out.

A word of advice: never ever rent a place without screens.

I have only thanks for you to leave with: thank you for being in this world, thank you for having a hand in the creation of a marvelous woman like Maija, thank you for living and loving as you did. It's been a long time since you were free, but I'm glad to have been able to know you and see you, to have been able to see the wonderful stamp you made on the lives of the people who loved you. It has been a pleasure and a privilege. I hope your next journey is as marvelous as you.